do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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