She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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