i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
