one might say we're banned from that church
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
