ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
