I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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