the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
