yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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