it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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