If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
