I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
