Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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