i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
