were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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