you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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