I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
