What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
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he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
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I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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