My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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