I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
