the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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