So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
