Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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