sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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