If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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