If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
