I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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