We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
