I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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