thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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