Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
