so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
