There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
a search helicopter?!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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