have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
