Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
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Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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