Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize