Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize