Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
