The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
