there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
did you just send me my own nude
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
