Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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