guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
