guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
