No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
