then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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