youre lurking in front of me
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
