I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
