he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
