can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
