Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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