Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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