i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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