You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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