I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
