If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
