my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
