this just has baby written all over it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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