Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
