Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
