I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
