Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
