Fine. I'll sleep in my office
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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