Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
