I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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