i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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