I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
